Online Game Gladiator Mugs

I'm done with the internet. But you discovered you can use it for Scrabble and flaming people. Crushing losers in online Scrabble and making them cry is great. But it's so much less satisfying than doing so in person. Really? Don't you understand anything, you tech-addled, bad-breathed, girlfriendless iPhone jockey?! Don't you ever try to get me hooded on that crud again. This is war. Again.

Rage.

I only root so hard for my time because I hate your team so much.

Bad for you but to die for

"I feel your pain."

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"

American Football.

I'm Spartacus.

'I've decided to skip my senior year and go directly into an endless cycle of unrealistic expectations and failure.'

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

Football.

Punishment for the kicker.

"It was your father's idea - He can't bear to miss a second of the game."

'Get out there, Holmes, and pile on!'

The Thurston State Hornets make their entry onto the field.

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

"Well, dad. . . when I was a kid I got in trouble for trampling on the lawn or for beating up others. . . today, I get a lot of money for it!"

'He intentionally entangles his face mask in my hand!'

'Quit whining, Sid, and walk it off! I'm not falling for that pulled muscle thing again!'

'I'm just your average suburban gladiator mum.'

Football Blockers.

A man reads "Traffic Times" while stuck in traffic.

Roman Emperor using a glad-hand in an amphitheater

Audiences at the coliseum were down after health and safety had paid a visit.

Another entry from the encyclopedia of gaming: Pixel sprain - any physical injury incurred from intense video game play.

'No exceptions, Caldwell! If you want to make this team, you've got to make it past my mother-in-law!'

"Good news, you are virus free and should be able to resume hitting each other in the heads as hard as possible this fall."

Women in grocery store contemplates high and low calories.

You Don't Know What It's Like

'Oh, great. Leonard's got quarterback on his jersey. No amount of bleach is going to get THAT out.'

Why the Romans stopped serving alcohol at sporting events.

"No, the guy with the bat doesn't get to kill the guys with the mitts."

'Better put this on. . . health and safety.'

"You'll get a lot of head injuries but, on the plus side, you won't remember any of them."