Online Confessor Pillows

Dear diary, I have to make this quick. I think my blog is onto us.

'...when did you first get these feelings of wanting to be a psychiatrist?'

'There's no art to the mind's construction on Facebook, Macbeth.'

'Irwin graduates from an online course today.'

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"Nick, are you listening or just buffering again?"

'So much effort to meet me? Man, you just should have visited my website!'

'What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his internet provider?'

Tiddles completes his doctorate.

doom.com

"When I was young, we made statements using signs and marches!"

"Why do I bother to evangelize online when no one listens?"

Monk confessing to a devil.

'Stick on Souls'

"Read the comments, boss. . . we should rename the whole thing from 'social media' to 'antisocial media'."

"I suppose a lot of people do their worshipping online these days."

'I've been talking to my imaginary friend Carlos about this, and he thinks you're the wrong doctor to treat my delusional syndrome.'

Woman undergoing www.therapy.com

'Nobody understands my job title.'

'I'm heart-broken, Steven's Dad sold his sweet shop.'

"Bless me, Father, for I have wind."

Rudy stands outside the law firm of Darlene, his unrequited love. Is he restless and brave enough to go inside and profess his feelings? Or is he a total wimp? What? What'd I say? Pipe down, inside voice! You look sharp today. Act now.

'Padre, if I told you, then I would have to kill you.'

'I can't afford mental health care, but my twitter vocabulary indicates I may have a problem.'

"It's asking for your password."

"I'm sorry, but more than that I just can't say."

"But I don't need to take swimming lessons. I did an online course."

'All of my degrees are from on-line universities. I guess that makes me a man of e-mails rather than of letters.'

"I see...and where was this carpet?"

'Of course I can keep a secret, but not for very long.'

'On the other hand, how do we know God isn't a member of our chat group?'

Public Transport: Hell

"Further reminding us that without hashtags there is only the darkness."

Man mistakes portable table for a church confessional.

You know how you can reach your character limit when you type something on Twitter? Well, that can also happen in life. It's happened to me. I've run out of character.