Online Advertising Prints

'Hi! We're Jehovah's witnesses and we'd like to talk to you about God.'

The Future: "Sorry, but I have to show you an ad now."

"So the plan is to fly everyone for free. But we'll charge $400.00 per bag."

"There's no such thing as 'bad publicity'." "All traffic is good traffic."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

'How fast can you hype?'

"I groom all day and still look like a baboon."

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

"...and someone with no fleas. Anything else?"

'It was love at first sight, although he was very pixilated and I was out of focus'

Right click for yes...

"So then the VP of Sales looks right at me and says 'Larry, what's going on? We don't have any traction in the market.' Like it's MY fault!"

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

This Message Has No Content

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

Royal Mail boss to become ITV boss.

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

Lethal Presentation

Create some buzz!

'If only every year was an election year.'

If nobody had invented graphics

'Got to admit,as far as mission statements go, it's pretty damn bold.'

Creative department

'Gentlemen, we need a slogan!'

'Let me see your portfolio of stolen ideas.'

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

'Which sounds better: 'now with MORE XZ100' or 'now with LESS XZ100'?'

"Sarah's grades are excellent. She got A+ in 'Yogi Berra: Philosopher or Fall Guy?,' A in 'Dollars and Scents: An Analysis of Post-Vietnam Perfume Advertising,' A in 'The Final Four as Last Judgment: The N.C.A.A. Tournament from a Religious Perspective,'

The Alpha Seltzer

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'