Older Brother T-Shirts

"He used to own a muscle car."

Old men,"I have terrible trouble with my joints..the cannabis keeps falling out."

'You gotta try different things! Sometimes a temper tantrum works best an' somethimes sulking an' sometimes not eating!'

"Well, the first thing we're going to do is loosen those suspenders!"

An Old-Timer/An Old Codger/An Old Geezer

"I think I've reached that age when I don't remember if I've forgotten something."

'I'm ninety-two! Tell me what I'm doing wrong... I dare you!"

'The first thing you need to do is lose 40 pounds of that baby boomer fat.'

I love my brother!

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- it's hard to believe we're related.'

"You think you know everything!"

'Timmy, experience is what you get when you don't actually get what you want.'

'I have an older brother too, so I know what it's like to be in middle-management.'

'Does this mean I have to share my pocket money?'

'The brown one that smells like an old man.'

'I'm old enough to remember when smiley faces were right side up.'

"Either we spend millions on new technology to erase each agent's memory following a sensitive assignment, or we just start hiring people over fifty."

"We've still got it Fred, it's a pity they don't want it anymore!"

Three-Quarters Life Crisis

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

Setting out the bedding plants was one of his few remaining pleasures,

Meeting at the Grumpy Old Men's Pub.

The Role of the Firstborn

You know you're getting older: when your back goes out more often than you do!

'Mom! Jeff keeps shapeshifting into a scary wolf!'

The noise from the basement was probably nothing – but if it was, she was a sacrifice her older brothers were willing to make.

'Two, four, six, eight, I don't want to abdicate!'

"Would you want to drink from a fountain of youth?" "I'd settle for a fountain of middle age."

Really obscene and sick swearwords I heard from my older brother! £1 - Each!

'Check out the old dude.'

'Your old report cards... At least you won't be a tough act to follow.'

"That's not an email, so you don't have to worry about it containing a virus. It's a birthday card from Nana."

Things I Learned From My Brother. . .

"See that tree over there? When I was your age, I could kick the ball over its top. Of course, when I was your age, that tree was only three feet tall."

"I'm 59 and they say I'm middle aged. Just how many people do you know who are 118?"