Office Politics Strategist Gifts

'Believe me, I know transformation isn't easy. I pulled a muscle once.'

"Heck of a way to start the negotiation."

'The bad news, Pomeroy, is tht we're giving your job to your secretary -- the good news is that she wants you to stay on as her secretary!'

'He can smell fear, but you can throw him off track by rubbing cash on yourself.'

'Now that we've hired you we would like to restructure the position.'

'Get down, Fenton. Apparently both engineering and accounting are upset with our department.'

"Steiner filed a grievance. Bump him up to no. 1 on the layoff list!"

"I told you today wasn't a good time to ask him for a raise in pay."

"These are difficult times which requires personal sacrifice. I'm personally sacrificing you."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

"I was just going to say, 'Well, I don't make the rules.' But, of course, I do make the rules."

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

The president's men

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

A fight in the Boardroom.

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'The lads at the office still talk about the day you told the boss what to do with his job...'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

"I believe we've found the weakest link."

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

"If we can just get beyond this 'I'm the boss' mentality and concentrate on a simple 'What I say goes' outlook, I think this will all work out."