Office Outings T-Shirts

Lawyers annual softball game postponed. "They're still negotiating for who pays for the beer."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

21st century water cooler conversations.

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

"The meeting will come to order."

Here and There Trays

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

That shows business confidence.

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Party Animals.

"I drink just enough coffee to make me think I can do my job."

'They sold the company in 2001? I was wondering why things were slow.'

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

Sign - Halt manager crossing

"The good news is that we do have a little wiggle room."

Gerry, there are more accurate ways of balancing the petty cash.

'I guess every team needs a creative renegade.'

"If you could be in any cubicle, which one would it be?"

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"If Google Translate is correct, they want our women and our cattle."

Forlornaments: Tools to drain individual and team spirit

'Office Woofers. For the quiet and obnoxious boss.'

"The meeting will last until lunch, or hell freezes over, whichever is longer."