Office Odyssey Veteran Gifts

"I have a protein drink every day for lunch, because I never have to chew."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

"I'm sorry, but we're looking for someone who's more likely to be followed than following."

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

The number one injury in today's workplace: severe bends caused by repeated exposure to deep-dive presentations.

"Wake up Thomas, it's not 2020. There's no Zoom camera to turn off to hide yourself."

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Five doors: Push, Pull, Up High, Down Low, Too Slow.

You are here.

'He's been brought in to save the company.'

Terry had a computer bug.

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

STRIP Hambone: Workers help is a hindrance

"You say you’re currently holding down 3 jobs...very impressive."

Free Range Employees.

"On reflection i think i could have coped with just 340' feedback."

Responsibility and duties

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats!"

The Corporate Rat.

Office Park

"To think—this meeting, which turned into the perfect day, filled with spontaneous adventures that will become priceless memories, could have been an e-mail."

Whack, Out of Whack.

"If the meeting goes on for longer than scheuled...I'm prepared!"

'I wouldn't worry about the retirement plan. You'd have to be out of your mind to work here that long.'

Business-Class.

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

"Now that you mention it, I have to admit, the daily grind IS starting to get to me!"

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

'If he applies himself, there's no limit to what he won't be able to accomplish.'

"Jones is our go-to-thankless-job-guy!"

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

John couldn't help but think that his team had a different perspective on the event than he did...

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

"Today's meeting will be endless, with a half-hour break for lunch."