Office Life Musings T-Shirts

"Getting a year end bonus makes me feel like I'm paid fairly for at least this one pay period."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

Pounding speeds up the computer.

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

A paperwork machine spews endless paperwork

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

At the end of each day, Gary had approximately 7 minutes of free time – which left him feeling very vulnerable.

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

'The check is in the email attachment.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'That's our mission statement.'

In basket-case.

Copycats

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

'It seems every time my business grows so does my paperwork!'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"So we are agreed then, most of the targets we've set staff are completely unreasonable and we should just scrap them."

'I have a plan 'B' but that's also dependent on a working projector bulb.'

"I'm expert at sniffing out blame."

In/Out/These Things Happen.

'You're my best man, Pomeroy, so I've decided to sell the damn company.'

"I don't like getting bogged down in details. I'm more of a big-picture guy."