Office Gym Warriors Pillows

"Our mandatory fitness program has nothing to do with health. It generates electricity, which saves the company money."

"Yes Sir, I'm still working on the 'ins and outs' of their proposal."

"Miracles happen, gentlemen, but they don't come cheap."

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"You've proven your worth a hundred times over. Let's try for a thousand."

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"Be careful what you wish for, Bob, because you just might get it. And if it happens to be what I was wishing for, things could get pretty ugly around here."

"It's true: no more burpees."

"(Huff) Here's (huff) your (huff) tea (huff... huff... huff... huff...)" "I will almost certainly regret asking you this, but what on earth are you doing, you cretin?" "All (huff) across America, (huff) office workers are ditching (huff) their desks and walking (huff) on treadmills while they work." "Can I get some water?" "Coming right up." "Good thing I wore my tripping shoes."

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Why are you arguing? The customer is always right, you know! 'But he called you a crook!'

'I hate Mondays.'

'Dog eat dog.'

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

'You say you type 80 words a minute ... Actually, that's not at all important...!'

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

Working 9 to 5.

'Don't you try those cheap scare tactics with me, Rendleman!'

Why am I running?

'Of course, the toll on my personal life has been enormous.'

'I blame the nothing for something culture.'

"Hank brings five years of top sales experience to our team so lets try to make him feel welcome as he makes you all look bad."

"Can I still do my pilates?"

"Push harder - I still can't see the scale."

Zumbie: Zumba for zombies.

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Don't worry, the first thirty years working here are the hardest.

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

"I have an obligation to the stockholders, not the employees!"

"All this namby pamby nonsense about stress...I've been stressed for YEARS and it's never done ME any harm... " "But you're only 25!"

"This is bad work, Edwards! Bad! Bad! Bad! Bad!"

"And to think all these years you've worried about some boy wonder taking over your job."

'At least I don't have his life.'