Office Foodie Pillows

'How can we solve this problem by eating?'

"Philippe, dice the potatoes."

"It figures...the day AFTER I go on a diet, the boss asks me out to lunch."

'Charles knew Tad was about to snap. Quarterly profits were weak, the network was compromised and now, Tuesday's Brussel Sprout medley in the cafeteria lingered through Thursday.'

'The 'Junior-Executive Lunch' comes with a larger dessert!'

'We like bright, new employees who aren't afraid to take some risks. By the way... how are those clam fritters?'

Dining al desko

'I sent out for everything.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'I'll have the crab cake, and he'll have the crabby cake.'

Every barbecue has its winners and losers.

"Even the waiters here are organic."

Ice Cream Surgeon

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

'Sorry sir, we've run out of parmesan cheese.'

"You do like octopus?"

I'm looking for a man who can meet my needs - Cream meringue master-chef.

What the Doctor Ordered

'Oh man I've got a splitting headache.'

Cow's Last Will and Testament.

'‘Because I said so' or ‘Just wait until you have kids of your own' section?'

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

'My diet's good...I'm two weeks ahead of schedule.'

Fast food. Even faster food

La Table

Newton discovers gravity and apple sauce in the same day.

"Easy for you to say - you're cured!"

'What's wrong now?'

"To paraprase Nietzsche, there is no pleasure with out pain au chocolat."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."