Office Farewell Pillows

"That's agreed then, we spend the last �100 on lunch then call the receiver."

'I'll do half of it.'

Break Glass in Case of Emergency

"And watch out for the boss,he has a habit of creeping up on you."

'My doctor says it's the result of stress caused by overwork.'

"If nothing else needs welding, Paula, I'm going to lunch."

'Now that the price of gold is up, we'd like to have your retirement watch back, Boggs.'

"Captain, we can't communicate with the creature. It seems to only speak in corporate lingo."

"It's nothing personal, Derek. . . but you're starting to give everyone here the creeps. . ."

"Let me begin by saying it's been nice knowing you, Hibblemeyer."

I think you put it off long enough.

'I'm sorry, Buzzy, but we're downsizing the hive...'

Welcome to Hell.

'And just for THAT, I'm putting you down as not recommended for rehire!'

STRIP Hambone: Office collection for a retiring computer

"I'd feel like a hypocrite contributing to his farewell gift after firing him."

'I hate leaving work when I feel I could have delegated more.'

"To put it bluntly, Mr Gunne - you've been fired!"

'I'm really not that ambitious... it's just that avoiding work is too much work.'

"Plunder and booty isn't all that easy to come by anymore."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

21st century water cooler conversations.

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

Do Not Resuscitate

"The meeting will come to order."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'