Office Events Mugs

"That's my performance review!? Two thumbs up?"

"Not a chance."

"Sklar, Liebowitz, Rubin and Kaminsky... Attorneys a go-go."

"Oh, yes, now I remember. We spoke at the company picnic."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Remember the golden rule: more buzzwords, less real words."

"Bert, I'm confused. What happens after we circle the wagons, tighten our belts and walk a mile in our customer's shoes? Is that when the chickens come home to roost?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"'Quid pro quo' is a no-no, Bradbury. Around here we say 'reciprocal altruism'."

21st century water cooler conversations.

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'No, your guess isn't as good as mine.'

'I'm judging by your silence Al that you're giving me the green light on the Greenwich project. I just want to say that I admire your leadership. I guess that's why you've been running this company for 20 years.'

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

Build Your Own Portfolio

"The meeting will come to order."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

Here and There Trays

That shows business confidence.

"Ok, do we agree the minutes of the last meeting?"

'Well the good news is that we've landed some huge contracts in China!'

"That report on corporate redundancy... I'd like it in triplicate."

Inclusive speech