Office Delay Observer T-Shirts

"The doctor will see you once you've waited long enough to understand who's boss."

"This position has become very important to the company."

'And remember to emphasize we're giving them the opportunity to find a better job.'

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

"Serendipity is not a strategy."

"I like to sit facing the room to see if anyone seated after us gets served before us."

Terry had a computer bug.

'I'm looking for an assistant who knows my job, can do my job, but has no interest in having my job.'

"Damn it,Frank,if I can't bully my staff, who can I bully?"

"On this team we take off our jackets,but we don't loosen our ties."

'I have no one to blame but myself, for now.'

'All applicants for employment must first submit to a company physical - We use it to eliminate anyone with a backbone.'

"It's not downsizing—it's just that we have 976 employees who have chosen to spend more time with their families."

"Missing a call is no excuse for eating your assistant."

'Have you decided who's going to be team leader?'

You're right, boss, there may be too much idle chit-chat, but let me talk it over with my friends.

'Don't try to use me. I'm not user friendly!'

'You're not the manager I expected.' - 'So blame yourself for having lousy judgement.'

"I've put every one of those vital master copies through here, and it took ages. Where do the copies come out?"

'See Dick sleep on job. See Dick get fired.'

'You seem young, Perkins. Why, I bet I was incarcerated before you were even born.'

'My salary increase got a few oo-hs.. but no ah-hs..'

"Remember that requirement that you work without supervision? Forget it."

'... Further to our telephone conversation of the 3rd, my fax of the 11th, my letters of the 16th, 23rd and 28th, my emails of....'

Good solution. Now we need a good problem.

'Cut out the hearsay and get back to work, Ms. Sims.'

"Here we use the email term 'out of the office', not 'away lazing on a Spanish beach, without a care in the world.'"

'Put simply, we need our website to tell consumers all about our company without really telling them anything about our company,'

'I feel a leader should be approachable.'

In case of panic, push button.

'I'm afraid of being left behind.'

"I think deep down he's really pleased the union has a female head for the first time..."

'I never question your ability. I never even mention it.'

"I've got your letter in front of me now, sir."

I don't feel very secure on this job.