Office Camaraderie Fans T-Shirts

"You'll have your turn again in 5 seconds, Mark."

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"Don't forget to leave me a wakeup call so I can get the worm!"

Welcome to the Team

'We're like family. I look out for them. They look out for me.'

Dog's In Tray and Out Tray

Belief and Trust.

"Your taxes,pension and health deductions have exceeded your wages - here's your bill."

"Frankly, we’re concerned about your checkered past."

"I'm so glad you decided to participate in our Money for Employment program."

"Well, all I know is he left on vacation to unwind... and he never wound-up again!"

'I hate 'bring your inner child to work day.''

Workplace Shinanigans

"Nope! He'd never set eyes on a water cooler in all his years in the office!"

The annual running of the lawyers.

"Yeah, but no progress in meeting..."

'In case the guys organize a game.'

"We couldn't find a raw-vegan, gluten-free, sugar-free, non-G.M.O. cake for your birthday, so we got you nothing."

"Look, I'm the bobblehead of this team."

"Your job could be worse and I'm open to any suggestion to make it so."

'So, Bixbey! Caught you at trying out my desk again, have I?'

'Seize another day... This one is mine.'

Equal opportunities inspector "I hear he got his job because he knew someone"

Think Big - 'I want a rise - a big one.'

'We don't offer health insurance, but we do allow to Google your medical condition on your lunch hour and see what you find.'

'It says here you like to push the envelope.'

'The home E-commerce business is doing well, but he misses his little friends at the office.'

We are looking to develop staff skills...but singing Queens greatest hits while balancing a bottle of beer on your face isn't one of them.

"That's the first time I've heard the word disembowl in a sales meeting."

"We're a startup. We're looking for someone who can yank this cord."

Megacorp HQ. He just found out about trickle-down economics, and he's trying to figure out to plug the leak.

"Here's a juicy bit of gossip for you!"

"I'll need you to come in at the weekend to attend our new staff care training on managing a 'work-life' balance."

'I'm still evaluating the new truth serum, you micro-managing, pig-eyed, snot-nosed, burnt-out, impatient, obnoxious, penny-pinching, glory-hogging tyrant.'

'They've been carpooling together for 30 years.'