Office Birthday Pillows

"Ms Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel the call to tech-support."

'I don't know which one of you keeps turning up the air conditioning, but you'd better stop!'

"This is highly confidential, so, yes, we built a little fort."

'Well, I have to start cleaning the next floor, Mr. Johnson, but good luck with all of your troubles!'

"All those in favor of adjourning for treats, raise your hands?"

"Could you go over that once again,

'It's the back up system for when the office intranet crashes!!'

"Email is such a security risk! That's why I prefer good old fashioned one-to-one gossip."

'They just kept sending out memos. Who cared if they made sense?'

"No, Mr Cummings, I haven`t dealt with the accounts file yet. I`m getting to it as quickly as I can."

"When I said 'I want you to sleep on it', I meant when you get home tonight."

"I don't judge. I know it's lonely at the top."

"I'm a big believer in micromanagement."

"Johnson, I need you to stop hanging around and gossiping at the sanitizer station."

"I keep giving you these mindless tasks because you're the best at doing them."

'Charles! Just the man I want to see. Could you pass me my coffee?'

"I have a piece of wall art that you might like."

"I called maintenance. They said if it gets any bigger they'll send someone up."

Ordnance: 'explode...implode'.

'Sorry, but your request for a recliner has been denied.'

Happy Hatchday, Sir

Big Cheese

"Your call is important to us, but not as important as this delicious cream donut with chocolate sprinkles that I'm about to eat..."

"How did we manage to put so much imagination into this proposal? Because we're all delusional!"

"The originator of the office birthday party."

"The seventh cup's the charm!"

While you were out...

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"This position has become very important to the company."

Project Length As Measured In Dog Years

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'