Ocean Weaver Gifts

Woman knitting the sea

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

Open mike night presents Sadie Cohen. Summer's almost over

'Thank-you God.'

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

The Dubloon Stops Here

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

Lazy Octopus

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

'I blame global warming!'

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

A Preschool of Fish

'The the President we've gone surfin', surfin' U,S,A,'

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

Shellfie

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

'OTHER SIDE!!!' - Learn to Surf

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

'...I said we've been marooned.'

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

Pouring all emotion into his art, Pablo had none left for his face.

'I don't think that this whale is beached.'

He doesn't howl at the moon. He prefers to howl into the void.

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

Cocktail glasses swimming in the sea.

"Are you familiar with the term, 'Catch and Release', buster?"

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

"I don't think I can fit that into my schedule, Irv. I've got a fishing boat to attack this morning, a beach to terrorize this afternoon and a feeding frenzy this evening!"

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'