Ocean Weaver Gifts

Woman knitting the sea

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"All I do is swim and eat plankton, but do I lose weight?"

"At times I wonder what I've done with my life that makes me worth being saved."

'Thank-you God.'

"Four years of dental school only to tell all my patients 'Don't worry about any tooth issues - they'll just fall out and be replaced, anyway'."

I rather like bucket and spade holidays.

The Dubloon Stops Here

Lazy Octopus

'You must be very proud Daphne.'

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

'I blame global warming!'

"If you hold it to your ear you can hear the ice caps melting."

'The the President we've gone surfin', surfin' U,S,A,'

Shellfie

"My wife is the queen of misheard lyrics! Listen to her singing carefully next time: it's hilarious..."

A Preschool of Fish

'This is where we go to get away from it all. . . except for Stanley's money.'

"I'm sorry- I can barely hear you with this goddam ocean behind me."

'OTHER SIDE!!!' - Learn to Surf

"The best beaches are Santa Cruz, Hossegor, Ericeira, The Gold Coast, Barbados, Sennen Cove, Oahu and Bali son: They're full of surfers..."

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

My therapist says I should take up basket making as a pastime!

Cocktail glasses swimming in the sea.

"Are you familiar with the term, 'Catch and Release', buster?"

Driving on the Beach - Lifeguard on a hydraulic lift.

'...I said we've been marooned.'

'I don't think that this whale is beached.'

"I'd like to have my teeth scrimshawed without being, you know, harpooned."

'Rats, I don't think we'll ever get this thing going: It's flooded again...'

Emily Dickinson Rebooted