Occupational Enthusiast T-Shirts

Window cleaner taking ladder out from under his colleague.

'These are job perks.'

'I'm afraid that serves you right for not wearing your safety goggles!'

Maybe clean out your wallet

"Uh-Oh..."

'Your resume is impressive, but next time try to shorten it from 100 pages to one.'

JOIN THE BOY SCOUTS HERE!, ''Trustworthy, friendly, loyal, helpful, kind, courteous, brave, thrifty, obedient and cheerful' -- This is going to look GREAT on my resume!'

Dog's In Tray and Out Tray

'It could have been worse...she might have chosen banking.'

"It raises trust issues, Mr. Kranse, when your very first question is 'what's the catch?'."

''Junk Yard Dog' just sounds so much cooler.'

Experience-Productivity Ratio / Age-Salary Ratio.

"Todd was glad he had a support animal."

New Memer/Incumbent

Resume Dumpers

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

'Nice work, kid. Looks like you might be ready to sit up at the big boys' table.'

'hard work and more hard work got me where I am today...Not my hard work of course.'

"Your former employer said you demonstrated a remarkable amount of 'get up and go'...especially when you were fired."

'I need to learn a trade... so I know what kind of work I'm out of.'

'Get out there and keep your job!'

"I know you used to be our paperboy. That's why when you leave, you'll find your resume on the roof."

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

"I hate all the paperwork there is with this job."

"We tried forming a collective - no leader, no structure, no power dynamics - but we just ended up flying in a circle over Winnipeg."

"We got him through a firm of headhunters"

'I see you worked here seven years ago. Don't you have a better reference than that?'

'Note to self: Buy little recorder.'

"That was a good interview. Do you have any other questions about this company?"

'Staff Recommendations Inc.'

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'

'The candidate must be decisive and independently minded.' - 'Would I describe myself as 'decisive and independently minded'?' - 'Would you describe me as 'decisive and independently minded'?'

'Of course you can make a great career here! Look at me - when I started working, I was just called 'dude'. Now, only 25 years later, they call me 'MISTER dude'!'

R. Gelfin - The buck stops here, then gets buried in his pile.

"And someday, when you're a little further up the corporate ladder, maybe we'll let you meet J.R. himself!"