Obstacle Course Trainer Gifts

Super advanced training: 'The object is to stay on top, while rolling down hill.'

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Football

Can't Touch This

"This round, forget the finesse. Hit him."

The Path

'You know our track team stinks when our star pole vaulter is better at the limbo.'

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"The floors are hot lava, but the apartment does come furnished with plenty of pillows."

'Get him in a full nelson, you dolt! You'll never pin him with a Heimlich maneuver!'

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

Hold on Cutlet! We have to get past Mom's waxed floor!

'That was a peach of a right hander the referee gave you!'

'Don't forget the plan - When he gets weak from laughing - Hit him with your left!'

NFL linebackers are identified in early infancy and sent away to the secret academy until puberty.

"Is it me or are the obstacle courses getting harder?"

'Is Hamburger Helper on the Olympics' banned substance list?'

"Steroids."

Making sure the pitcher is up for the job.

'Of course the swing is important, just don't allow it to pull focus from the neck.'

'I'll get the bastard who said this was a short cut to the Post Office!'

'So I told the doctor I'm a major league baseball player and I don't have any time to get out in the sunshine.'

Boxing Trainer: 'And watch out for this fella. He has a huge Left Hook.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

"I am afraid Mr. Jones is in his career coaching session. Can I get him to call you back?"

"Remember, champ he maybe bigger, stronger and faster, but he ain't got yer reach!!"

'Not scream, you morons! I said screen pass! Set up a screen pass!'

'You're going to have to drop out if you want to graduate.'

"Sorry Mate, no trainers."