Obstacle Course Trainer Gifts

Super advanced training: 'The object is to stay on top, while rolling down hill.'

'OK, everybody, calm down,,,'

Football

'We need you to get onto those high balls coming over'

Can't Touch This

"This round, forget the finesse. Hit him."

'You know our track team stinks when our star pole vaulter is better at the limbo.'

The Path

He's slow and can't see out of one eye, but watch out for his left hook.

"When you put on the uniform, you surrender a part of yourself."

"Fellas, I invited Max here to give us a fresh, millennial take on how to get out of the inning."

'...and if you guys keep screwing up, I'm gonna have to start kicking some butt!'

"The floors are hot lava, but the apartment does come furnished with plenty of pillows."

'Get him in a full nelson, you dolt! You'll never pin him with a Heimlich maneuver!'

'We could make a fortune teaching Parkour you know...'

Hold on Cutlet! We have to get past Mom's waxed floor!

Taking control of his opponent, Darren quickly slapped some deodorant on him.

'That was a peach of a right hander the referee gave you!'

NFL linebackers are identified in early infancy and sent away to the secret academy until puberty.

"Is it me or are the obstacle courses getting harder?"

'Don't forget the plan - When he gets weak from laughing - Hit him with your left!'

"Steroids."

'Is Hamburger Helper on the Olympics' banned substance list?'

'Of course the swing is important, just don't allow it to pull focus from the neck.'

Making sure the pitcher is up for the job.

Boxing Trainer: 'And watch out for this fella. He has a huge Left Hook.'

'I'll get the bastard who said this was a short cut to the Post Office!'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."

'So I told the doctor I'm a major league baseball player and I don't have any time to get out in the sunshine.'

At spring training.

"I am afraid Mr. Jones is in his career coaching session. Can I get him to call you back?"

"Remember, champ he maybe bigger, stronger and faster, but he ain't got yer reach!!"

'Not scream, you morons! I said screen pass! Set up a screen pass!'

"Why are you studying? Go outside and practice shooting three pointers, so you can ear big bucks like Steph Curry."

"Sorry Mate, no trainers."