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'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

Ancient Landmarks of New York City

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

Go team!

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Cricket Accidents.

Ball as water-melon.

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

Desert Island Statue of Liberty.

Hockey Season.

'We're looking for athletic people.'

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

"Mom, please! I'm a married woman whose friends have been reviewed favourably by the New York Times."

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

Giant Monkey sprays the pesty planes with 'fly spray'

'...I don't like your chances!'

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

"Now that you've won the Super Bowl what will you do next?"