Nurses Pillows

"OMG! I just got born!"

"He's complaining of chest pain, shortness of breath, cramps and dizziness. Do you sell earplugs?"

'O.K. people, it's time to test our work...'

'The hospital bought 50 of them to help with the nursing shortage.'

'First, let me give you something for the pain.'

Man sees goldfish swimming in his IV bag.

"Lucky we caught it early. It's easier to treat in the larva stage."

"You don't mind the psychometric test, do you?"

MRSA Risk.

Healthcare workers come to the N.H.S. Fancy dress party dressed as viruses.

Hospital Reception - Ring for assistance

"I'm afraid we've had to move him to expensive care."

"The most common adverse vaccine reaction after the first dose is trying to get the second dose."

"On reflection, I admit the hernia stitches were too tight."

"First of all, where and what is a prostrate?"

ICU!

Elderly lady about elderly man: 'We met in ICU. We had a rheumatic encounter.'

'You play the nurse and I'll play God.'

Doctors Without Boundaries

'Thank's for your patience as we transition to electronic filing. . . Mrs. McGillicuddy.'

'We can do extensive blood work, take x-rays, check your prostate. . .or I could sell you some great weed for $50.'

"...In the long run, we'd like patients to see an accounts clerk, nurse, and resource manager before they get anywhere near the doctor..."

Mortified that her hospital gown did not close all the way in the back...

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

N.H.S.Trust.In box/out box(Resucitate/Do not resuscitate).

"Well....THAT�S never happened before"

"We lose a little dexterity, but we gain a lot of confidence."

'Congratulations! You've just downloaded a baby boy.'

"He's in a critical condition"

Police officer giving ticket to paramedics.

All New Prescriptions Require FBI Approval.

'Let's all practice bug control.'

The GPC has written to ministers about how children can be more involved with the NHS

Patient in Straightjacket, "He gets tired and irritable after several hours in the waiting room, Doctor."

"Look! A dying brain cell! Maybe we should help!...."