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"First, we need to stabilize his spine!"

'I don't do 'slip and fall,' but if you're ever in need of a good tax attorney...'

"Funny-all the king's horses don't seem to be helping at all."

"Proving negligence on the wall owner will be difficult, especially since you had no business up there."

'Frankendumpty'

"Do you or do you not have any wool, and if so, how many bags full?"

"Hello, medic alert? I've fallen and I can't get up!"

"You're kidding!...You mean, all the King's horses and all the King's men tried putting you back together again too?"

'Jack not so nimble.'

'He's smashed.'

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

'There's some huffing and puffing outside. It's either the big bad wolf or a stroppy teenager with an attitude.'

'Why does London Bridge keep falling down? Sounds like lawsuit material to me!'

"I'm afraid the news about your husband is grim, Mrs. Dumpty...."

'Bridges falling down, killer pumpkin eaters, blind mice with carving knives... I can't Take it Anymore!'

Humpty Dumpty: The later years

CSI Nursery

"I don't know how much longer I can stand living with seven little men"

'...and the dish ran away with the trendier spork.'

Your dad howling at the moon sounds pretty lame! Me, my mum jumped over it...

"We've evicted the old woman and put the kids in care."

'Frankly, if all the King's men couldn't put him together again, what chance do we have?...'

'I think we are definitely going to go with the split level. I mean what's not to love? right, Honey?'

"Stalking, the judge said. . . everywhere that Mary went, I was sure to go."

"No one will ever believe us. Let's just say they ran away."

"Damn! I'm in the wrong fairy tale. This is the three little pig's house, not the three bear's!"

"We've done all we can. Call in the King's Men."

The little old lady who lived in a shoe in Antarctica.

'Are you made of sugar?'

'London Bridge? I thought it had fallen down?'

Old woman heh?. Didn't know what to do, heh?

'I think you'll enjoy this change of pace, Sire. Four and twenty blackbirds, peanuts and a prize!'

'Our relationship has never been the same since Jeff ran off with that spoon...'

'Actually, I don't know what I was thinking hiring you, Jack.'

"The prognosis is not good: you will grow worse tomorrow and die on Saturday."