Number-crunching Novice Prints

". . . and this, my young friends, is the Basell II ratings-based formula to calculate capital levels for retail credit."

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

Today we learned to count to one.

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

'This graph may need some explaining...'

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'Damn! McGee's good!'

"I can count to 20...Without taking off my shoes."

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

'Honey, the long-run is here!'

'Is that why our games of hide and seek are over so quickly?'

Tax Cuts Water the Economy.

What comes after a trillion

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

"I wonder if management will believe my project?"

"The accounting change that contributed most to the quarter was adding three zeros to the revenue number."

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'

Statistics department with 'You are here (sampling error +/- 4%)'.

'Money, money, money, that's the only three things you ever think about.'

'The idea of an artists' retreat is to get AWAY from business concerns, Mr. Harlow.'

'We can't cut out the middle man. With the government in the picture now we are the middle man.'

'Today, in kindergarten, we learned how to count to one.'

'Sir, what's this big once in a lifetime nonnegotiable deduction?'

'In, out, fiddling.'

'Good Heavens, you're right - money IS everything!'