Number-crunching Aficionados Mugs

"Maybe you should have hired an accountant to check your return twice."

The Life of Pi

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'In hindsight, we should have spent more on marketing than entertainment.'

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

Us. Everyone else. My research shows that we are the only statistics company sill using pie charts displayed on an easel.

Staff Yearbook

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

'This graph may need some explaining...'

But under a different accounting convention ...

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

"Remember that optimistic, slightly crazy, throw a dart at the wall forecast? We beat it."

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

Warning: Math Ahead!

1. 0. 5. 6. He'd be nothing without her. (Published originally on June 11, 2008.)

'Now think, Harris, what did you do different on that day?'

'Ooops! My mistake. That was the yearly budget estimate, no the monthly estimate.'

'Don't worry! Since 28% of my salary goes to the government, I've decided to work 72% of the time!'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'Damn! McGee's good!'

'But if you need someone for the intangibles...'

Boss. The boss treats me like a number, and not a prime one.

"I can count to 20...Without taking off my shoes."

Reign Man

"This'll show the Theology Department."

"And these projections are based solidly on hope, crossed fingers, and fear."

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

'Honey, the long-run is here!'

Pork Bellies.

I've managed to get your tax bill down to zero, this year ... however, my bill is $10 million.

'I'm here about the tax credits for business equipment which you listed in your return as 'Betty', 'Mabel', 'Liz'...'