Nordic Noir T-Shirts

"So. . . you're binge-watching Scandinavian noir to cheer yourself up?"

hard-boiled egg...

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

'This is the worst film noir I've ever seen.'

The Philip Marlow family

"We need rain."

"Ask the gumshoe. He'll tell ya the saucer was empty when I got there. Go on, gimme a purr detector test. I got all night."

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

Elusive Shadow.

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

'Business was slow, slower than a fat tortoise with a limp. The phone hadn't rung for so long I thought it must be out of order. The new competition was good, very good. Who was this 'Google' guy?'

Gangster's To-Do List

Robert Mitchum

"Remember - this meeting never happened, we never met, and you never wore that tie with that jacket."

Diary of a DNA Cop

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

'That isn't true Mrs. Jones, I can find my ass with both hands. And if you want me to prove it, it'll be $150.00 a day, plus expenses.'

Noir kitty.

"See you there at seven. And the dress code is business noir."

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

"Now, see here, I've been wronged! Some no-good do-nothing rat pack got me sick, and I gotta know who!"

Jim and Betty Noir could turn a simple trip to the post office into gripping melodrama.

"Damn it, Flopsy, you've cost me another bust."

The shadow

'Well, what did you expect?'

'The least you can say is thank you for checking the tides.'

Dashiell Hammett

SnowmanBig City

Raymond Chandler, the money-grubbing years.

"Gee—it's just like in the movies!"

"Me? I'm just one of those shadowy figures who inhabit the mysterious twilight world where the medical and legal professions meet."

'Yup, one of the many disadvantages of living in a land locked city.'

'It's been taken care of.'

"I'm telling ya, it's time to muscle in on this internet thing."

Moby the Private Dick: 'Ever get the feeling you're being watched.'