Nighttime Ritualists T-Shirts

'After scraping my tongue, flossing my teeth, brushing my teeth, whitening my teeth and gargling, I'm hungry all over again!'

"I spend my day prepping for a good night"

"Hue More Church Candlelight mass 7:00pm - 8:00pm"

"Amen. . . void where prohibited by law."

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"... And bless my dog, Penny, whose licks give me the strength to carry on."

"Incredible! Once again, you've made the perfect piece of toast."

Dance of the Red (Papal) Shoes.

Bedtime Stories with Gordon Ramsay

"Great coffee, Carole."

'I'm a perfect little angel while I'm asleep. It's being awake that causes me trouble.'

"Lemme guess: You're struggling with the French press again."

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

Father nursing his sick child

"I'm treating you like a living deity for one day."

'Just checking that I've turned off the lights, dear!'

"Would you mind getting me the Ambien, the Tiger Balm, three cookies, a cup of tea and a pillow for my legs?"

"You doomscroll, I make coffee, and together we forge bravely into each new day."

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

"What better way to start your day than to eat and pray before we play!"

Nothing like that first cup of coffee, eh, Frank?

"It's pumpin spice latte season - I feel it in the air."

Daily Grind Coffee Cup

Man looking at his shower-bath on a cold morning

"Yee yee hee hee how how yip yip."

"Take me to your barista."

'I've learned that adding water to coffee only weakens the effect.'

'Didn't you know that I read the comics every morning before I take the newspaper to Master?'

A couple lie in bed

The Wackoman (Heat it).

"Are you regular?" "Every morning at 6AM." "That's good." "But I don't wake up until 7."

'How long has what been going on?'

'Nothing like a cup o' Joe before you mow.'

Eye Opener

'Oh no, it's not sex night again, is it'