Night Shift Parent Mugs

I'm not fussy! I'm stir-crazy!

"That's our house, that's Mommy going to work, and that's you, staring out the window, wondering where it all went wrong."

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"Don't wait up. I'll be working late again tonight."

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

"Can you juggle a household, three kids, and a career?"

"I'll get up in negative five minutes."

"That concludes our broadcast day. Go to bed."

'I'm looking forward to parents' night. I'm going to ask these people their diet secrets.'

'Okay. Time to get up. 1... 2... 3... Go!' - 'Actually, maybe I'll just rest my eyes for a few seconds.' - 'Zzzzz...'

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

"Are you willing to work the night shift?"

'Are you just back from work or on your way to the office?'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

Night-shift entrance

Lawyer's baby first word: whiplash!

Parent Involvement Tip #1

"I know, but all promises are off when Daddy's writing his grant proposals."

'Push, dear! The child will be late for pre-school!'

"I'd like my son seated in the first row."

"My new day job is killing me."

'I couldn't find any box filler so I shredded those tax documents on your desk.'

Insomnia Clinic - On sale here: Tapes of the Senate's longest filibusters!

"Do you really use all of the stuff on this school supply list?"

'I'm here for your coffee.'

'How did our summer vacation turn intoa summer job??'

This coffee can keep you up

'We need a dog!'

"I think we need to spend more time with the children...how many have we got?"

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

"Here comes the airplane--once it gets clearance from the tower, which should be in another 45 minutes. Thank you for your patience."

'When I want to watch a realistic comedy about a working mom, I'll look in the mirror.'

'Congratulations. It's a latch key kid.'

Mind them while I go shopping and I'll give you 50 bucks extra!

Mouse shopping after hours