Night Owl Hustler T-Shirts

"Honey, you're sleepworking again."

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

'I do need your bed, Mr. Davies, for me, I'm shattered after working twenty-six hours non stop.'

"In closing, I'd just like to say you've been a great crowd, folks. Don't forget to tip your waitress, and I hope this final number breaks your heart the way show business broke mine."

'But seriously , folks, I know you're out there, I can hear you bleeding!'

"I'm sleeping in today. I got in late from last night's orgy."

"I'll tell you the same thing everybody's telling Donald Trump - stop your damn tweeting!"

"Listen, I'm not going to keep letting you in and out all day."

"I blacked out for ten minutes this morning - Then I realised I had put my hoodie on backwards."

Nethead strip: Sale.com

You're too late. Someone else already seized the day.

'I can't believe I phoned my ex at 4 in the morning and go the wrong number. Still, if I look on the upside...it's lucky I didn't get the right number.'

'It may be night here, but I'm day trading in Australia.'

'You were talking in your sleep again.'

'It's 10 PM -- Do you know how your stocks are performing?'

'No, no coffee for me thanks, it's almost dawn: It would keep me up the whole day...'

"See you in the morning."

"If any place is open at this hour. I need to pick up something from the 19th century."

'I thought you were supposed to be a day trader!'

"Being transferred to days isn't a promotion for an astronomer, you idiot!"

'Boy! Those 911 operators sure get snooty when you call at 4 a.m. and ask them to translate the words to Frere Jacques.'

"This next one's for anyone out there who might still be awake."

"When I said I was 'all-in', I meant I was going to bed... and I'm not saying that just because I lost the hand."

'Joking or non-joking?'

I stayed up late last night, then got up early, but I had to take several naps today

"I'm getting too old to work the graveyard shift."

"I'm impressed...Baldo stayed up all night studying."

"Honey, you awake? I’m feeling frisky — let’s go shopping."

"Of course i can talk...can you fly?"

"I want you to meet Ted. Ted's a would-be anchorman."

Bloggs and co Builders apologise for any convenience caused

The stench of corporate corruption grew worse each day. And every night Earl did hid best to clean it up.

Winter Mornings

"Last time I burned the midnight oil it triggered the fire alarm."

'Someone's always burning the midnight oil around here.'