Nhs Professional Prints

'What part of 'sensible', 'thoughtful', or 'effective' DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND?

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

No, I didn't know they were going to cut the office furniture budget in half.

"This position has become very important to the company."

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"My email is down... talk to me."

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"And when the canyon fills up, that's it; herd immunity."

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"It's almost 5 o'clock! Where the hell is my vodka app?!"

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Yeah, but that one's a little bit hard to reach."

'That's our mission statement.'

'This job is for a 30 hour week. . .but to achieve that you need to work 60 hours a week.'

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

Others will fight for you

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'Your resume is a little thin, but I like your willingness to be manipulated by upper management.'

'You see, Brad, I'm not just a highly polished career woman.'

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

"They decided giving out pink slips was too impersonal. So now they're blue."

21st century water cooler conversations.

"I spent all day learning productivity hacks"

"I’ve tried to make this as painless as possible ... clearly I’ve failed."