News Prankster Prints

Fake news department

"My hackers just collapsed your country's economy."

'Marsha, did you file the Peterson account on the cumulus, stratus, cirrus, or nimbus cloud?'

"Good heavens William, what have you downloaded off the internet this time?"

"I've edited your Wikipedia entry again, Sadie. You're about to be inundated with phone calls from the press." "Whatever, geek-boy." "You're now the world's foremost authority on Turkey leprosy, the disease that's threatening to ruin the holidays." "No one'll believe that." "Oh yeah? I wrote a Wikipedia page for Turkey leprosy, too, along with examples of all the historical figures it's killed, such as the Archduke of Crushistan." "There is no 'Crushistan.'" "I've written a Wikipedia entry for C

'I think the mouse is playing-up again love.'

Why are you waving that big magnet over my hard drive?

'The only problem is they're glued together. So I can't see the watch...or change the dead calculator batteries, but it's guaranteed for life...'

Tonite: Gala Costume Party. Got your costume for the big party? No, I'll just part my hair on the other side and go as my own reflection.

"...and if you both can successfully complete this CAPTCHA, we'll continue with the vows."

'Our company needs a tougher image. So from here on out we'll answer the phone with the greeting, 'what the hell do you want?!'

"I'm away from my desk or on another line. Please leave a message at the sound of my impersonation of a beep."

'I accidentally hacked into Mom's microwave oven.'

'Sorry, Kevin. You have given an incorrect command.'

F1 - Quit Smoking.

Wishful Thinking Magazine - circulation chart.

"I hacked into Santa's computer and discovered we're not on his naughty list. I feel we're letting our generation down."

'What do you mean that you hacked into Old Faithful's computer so now it's not so faithful?'

"Oh no! Not computer bugs again!"

"Hello, I am a Nigerian Prince and I need your help!!! Please send me $500 and your bank routing number. You will rewarded with 10% of 12.7 million dollars and my undying friendship. Best wishes, Prince John Barron."

Extremely Realistic Virtual Reality.

"One day you'll thank me for embarrassing you in front of the entire Internet."

The Hard Drive Ate My Homework.

"Infecting their computers with the Pillage&Plunder Virus just doesn't give the same satisfaction as actually doing it."

"That's just my agent - pay him no heed."

Youtube ghost videos...

'Hey, if you pull up a war game of Godzilla destroying Tokyo, that's just my son hacking our data base.'

"So I'm assuming it's not always a good thing when a tweet goes viral."

"My dad said I couldn't scare him, so I'm hiding all his data like it was erased. Get ready for a loud scream."

'Which one do you think Dracula's in?'

Spam.

'... and when the user's blood pressure goes over 100, the computer shuts down, the siren sounds, and the neon sign beings to flash!'

'Okay! Who changed my screensaver?'

E-commerce for shoplifters.

'Sir, you need special help to fix this problem. Please hold the line whilst I put you through to our exorcist.'