New Year Resolution Breaker Mugs

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

"At this office no two days are different."

"It's a new year, and I have a brand new attitude. Which way is it to San Diego Sea World?"

"I'm sick of watching the same movie every day."

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

Great doing business with you. I look forward to next year.

January Joiner

'My mother's resolution is to eat more vegetables, and my resolution is to help her by giving her mine.'

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

'Attention everyone! I'd like to make a rebuttal of the resolution my husband just made about my going SHOPPING.'

'Well, there goes the last of my New Years resolutions...'

The trick to losing weight is to eat a small portion and wait 10 minutes. By then your resolve has caught up with your appetite!

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

Their first New Year's solution was easy to fulfill: turning the foodchain.

'You haven't seem my New Years Resolutions have you?...The one where I'm committing to 2,5000 billable hours and pulling in 6 major clients.'

'I need a vacation, Ms. Sims. I'm tired of the same old things day after day.'

'My new year's resolution is to stay home next new year's eve.'

The Janopause

Good intentions last a month on average

New Years Resolutions: Join Gym. . .Cancel Gym.

"I bet you're wondering what my other hands doing under this table right now."

"...For new year, I'm going to stop watching so much sport..."

"Sure-fire weight loss program."

"Your New Years resolution was to give up the grog!"

"Ah, but that wasn't a campaign promise - It was a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION!"

"Remember to keep hydrated, tell me when you want more Prosecco."

Next years calendar.