New Parent Warriors Mugs

'Their problems are just beginning.'

To help liven up one of the more mundane aspects of baby care, the Kellermans devised projectile-burping target shooting.

'Go forth and multiply!'

City Zoo: Day Care

"Is he talking yet? I was hoping he could help me with my new phone."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'Why don't they make thumb-flavored baby food?'

A young Don King

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

Cry babies.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

'I told you it would be useful.'

baby sweetcorn...

The Baby Walker

'Ahhh...'

"Unfortunately, your son swallowed a great deal of industrial adhesive. But don't worry: Epoxy can be cured."

Interior design trends for parents....

'Don't worry. It's never too hot or never too cold.'

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey -- it's part of the aging process.'

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

'He has your nose and my ears.'

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

'Still having a hard time finding day care?'

Mom! Don't call me abominadorable in front of my friends!

"Congratulations, it's a lifetime of penury and countless sleepless nights!"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"They're so adorable at that age!"

Baby knocks old lady out with pram toy.

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

When a toddler hands you their ringing toy phone, you answer it!

'I believe we've located the cause of your back problem, Mrs. Kangaroo.'