New Job In It Management T-Shirts

"Our new information management system has just worked out where we wasted most money last year. . . It was on the new information management system."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

'Anything you can compute I can compute better. I can compute anything better than you.'

Mac OS 20

"The desktop skills test was a little worrying,56% couldn't manage 'Word' 75% were confused by 'Excel' and 43% wanted to know what channel 'Eastenders' was on."

'With the increase in hacking, the I.T. department has proposed sealing all of our data in blister packs.'

'Ted, I really wish you'd update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

The First Martian Dog.

'At Tesmer holdings, we don't break the rules! We change them!'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

Not a surprise, coming from the new boss - who looks about 6 years old.

'I hear you got your increase.' - 'Yes, that proves my theory, if you whine enough, you get anything you want.'

"Our new automated workers need a little fine tuning, but they're coming along..."

"It's all a matter of planning...."

Computer Hitching a Ride to Silicon Valley

"Don’t you eyeball me, Ed! That’s right, look down at the table. Only technicians who remember to back up the data can look at me! And if you start to cry I will fire you!"

New company policy...next time you miss a meeting I need a note from a doctor or a subpoena from a judge.

Office meeting

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

The role of administration.

The new boss brought a sense of urgency.

'New Game'

"Your job is to build an app that replaces you."

"When they said progress made our replacement inevitable I thought they meant by AI."

The little engine that could delegate.

'I'm afraid you've failed the Turing test.'

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

Cloud Computing.

"To make things more democratic, I've decided to introduce a round-table policy."

'Good new. . . we're moving you to a bigger desk!'

"I got connected to the internet!"

Coffee. The phrase "where everybody knows your name" used to sound warm and friendly. Now, with all our personal information exposed online, it sounds scary!

"He's got great leadership skills. Wherever he's taking us, it's got to be better than where we've been."