New Executive Role Gifts

'I hope you enjoy all the perks of your new executive position. Above your new desk is the sword of Damocles handing by a thin thread. I wouldn't worry about it, chances are it might never fall and put an end to your privileged existence.'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'We're a paperless office - except for executive bonuses.'

"I don't judge. I know it's lonely at the top."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

Where your mind & battle are los

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'Now that I have your attention...'

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This is a merit-based organization! Can't you see I’ve hired the very best and most qualified yes-men money can buy?"

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"My email is down... talk to me."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

On his desk, a cat has an in box, out box and litter box.

"This position has become very important to the company."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options