New Executive Role Gifts

'I hope you enjoy all the perks of your new executive position. Above your new desk is the sword of Damocles handing by a thin thread. I wouldn't worry about it, chances are it might never fall and put an end to your privileged existence.'

Man frozen in portrait pose.

'We're a paperless office - except for executive bonuses.'

"I don't judge. I know it's lonely at the top."

"You're invited to our management excursion. Come dresses as a pinata."

I've always wanted to quit while I was ahead but the opportunity never presented itself.

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'Why is it that nothing ever gets done at these meetings?'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'Do you think, perhaps, that we could start shooting for a few longer-term goals around here?'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'If I had to use one word to describe our strategy.'

'I'm sure that one wasn't there last week.'

"Is this to make me feel bad for not getting you that laptop?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

Where your mind & battle are los

'And were there a point to your proposal, Henderson - What would it be?'

'Surely you wouldn't want me to laugh at your joke if I didn't think it was funny!'

"Forget five-year plans. Let's just figure out how to make it to lunch."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

'Now that I have your attention...'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

Businesswoman Empowerment

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Marshall, somewhere out there, just waiting for us, is a loophole in the system."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"My email is down... talk to me."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."