Network Marketing Believer Prints

It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller. I have this friend who keeps passing up great opportunities. I have a side business of network marketing which is amazing! And I'm excited about sharing the opportunity of this business. How do I get him to seize control of his future and become financially independent by emailing me at despicable@spammer.com? I'm not sure what just happened, but I feel vaguely homicidal. My friend could have a bright future.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

Sale. To do this job you just need to follow the old adage and "dance like nobody's watching"!

S.S.dot.com

Classic Autos: We have muscle cars for weaklings!

"Hi, I'd like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn."

"I hear you have been split testing our online advertising campaign. I haven't got a clue what that is but stop it now."

'We're e-bankrupt.'

'We can't find a pond small enough where you'd be a big fish.'

'You can social network me behind my ears if you like.'

Buy One Get One Free Sign Outside Shoe Shop

London Olympics.

"We can now shop for, purchase and crash our new car online."

"You can find me on Inkedin."

"Your CV is amazing. The boss would love you. So unfortunately you've been unsuccessful in your application."

"Multi-level marketing!"

'Well, according to this website, the internet no longer exists!'

Jimi Hendrix Website - PLEASE LEAVE FEEDBACK

"Before we begin tonight's dream, a word from our sponsor..."

"He's networking again!"

"Remember - kindergarten is an excellent opportunity to make connections for first grade."

"Attendance is way down. He's just trying to jazz up the place..."

Corporate Advertising Agency: WEEKLY SCAM MEETING

Internet Name Tags.

"You're the perfect candidate! Unfortunately, we aren't looking for perfect candidates at this time."

"I think it's the company logo."

"At Ermbruster Academy you son will acquire indispensible life skills."

"Gentlemen, let's do lunch."

'I want a campaign that will fol some of the people some of the time and all of the people all of the time.'

Men Networking

"Insider trading is so last century, I prefer exclusive networking opportunities."

"We could add a wobbly seat and lid that the idiots, er, customers would think they have to replace - at a premium, of course."

Maybe I'm just a sucker for marketing, but I think bottled pond scum water really does taste better.

Your weight. See, it's up not down. I told you "thin crust" pizza did not mean it would magically slim you.