Neighborhood Rival T-Shirts

Bird house envy.

'Isn't that cute! They're thanking us.'

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

"We thought we would come somewhere remote to self-isolate."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

“Sweet mother of Marmaduke... no!”

Polygamists' Picnic

'It's only 6 AM, but I want to send the kids to Wally's house before his mother sends him over here.'

Litter Pick

"The parasol certainly paid for itself this summer."

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

"At home there's a fish, a cat, a dog, me, and a big sister."

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

Post-pandemic Hugging Refresher Class

"We tried to play nicely, but frankly it's not as much fun as tormenting each other."

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

Getting the Christmas Tree Home.

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

'Looks like housing starts are up.'

"It's from the Hendersons. They want us to come over this weekend."

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

"Carol, our guests are here, along with the complete L.L. Bean catalogue."

Neighbors blowing leaves that are blown back at them.

"You invited the Wilsons over? This forest is a mess!!"

LEMONADE 50 CENTS, 'Sorry, cash only -- we don't accept little brothers.'

"So does George still enjoy his woodworking?"

Where the wild things aren't.

"Gracie, I'm getting way tired of your Jane Goodall routine!"

The Life of a Sentient Rock

Visiting 'friends'.

"Please try not to offer expert analysis."