Neighborhood Parties Pillows

'My mom wants to know if she can borrow a cup of high-fructose corn syrup.'

"Whenever he shows up everything turns to crap!"

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Darn those neighbors. A cookie's missing.'

'Henderson always walks away with the neighborhood pumpkin carving contest.'

'I'm sorry, but there's nothing in the zoning regulations covering bad taste.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

"I said 'neighborhood watch'; they said 'peeping Tom.' "

"Okay, if it hits the wall it's a triple, and if it goes through Mr. Baker's window, that's a home run."

The Consequences of an Interrupted Shower.

"You're moving into a place where all the parents live well and all the kids test well."

'Don't Move!' - 'Why would I want to move? Lived here for 51 years, know all the neighbours, shops nearby, post office is closed but...'

Hal is such a nice guy, every dog in the neighborhood brings him slippers.

'John... is that a collar?'

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

'He's so proud - We've got the best collection of weeds in the street!'

'Not faster than sound, Pete, think of the neighbors!'

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

"My family clapped louder than your family!"

Interrupted Shower.

'They're our neighbours. We invited them on the off chance they may turn out to be post-modern.'

"I walk into their yard every few days and knock over their trash. How do you know the Johnsons?"

'Your neighbor wanted me to break up a wild party, but actually, I find this a congenial affair,'

"Ha!...I'd like to see the Jones' trying to beat our display this year!"

How does she get her grass so green?

Snow Plowing

'Hello, I've just moved in next door. Can I borrow some sugar please?'

"Things have gotten bad here. There's talk of a war with another gated community."

'We bought thinking we'd enjoy being only a stone's throw from the playground.'

I'm earlier than usual this evening due to an elevated level of chatter at home.

"You got another letter from the neighborhood association..."

"Yes, Frank's a slob, Mary...but I doubt that's why aliens haven't used your landing pad!"

"Steve and Sue, clean up after your mutt or else!"

"I hate what's happened to the neighborhood."

'The neighbourhood Watch Scheme!' "Damn, his roses are doing much better than mine"