Neighborhood Humorist T-Shirts

'Really? He has his father's nose?... Is his father Cyrano De Bergerac?'

"Your rose dust gets into everything, and your caladiums attract toads; and another thing: your damn marigolds are stinking up the whole area."

'Uh oh. Wax moths! There goes the neighborhood.'

'Even tho' he now lives in a ritz, upscale neighborhood, he hasn't changed a bit!'

Robinia Floribunda

'She used to be gagging for it-now she just wants gagging!'

'Oh don't worry about George, he's just got worms.'

"They must be out...'Neighbours' is on the television!"

'She's the neighborhood watch.'

"I had to leave, it was not liveable anymore: I could cope with a cat in the house, but not with a kid learning the trumpet..."

"Son-of-a-birch!"

"It's been a rainy winter."

"How do the Thompsons have such adorable trash?"

"The new tenant better not be a humming bird again! Boy the neighbour was driving me crazy!"

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"After the drugstore, I need you to find fresh parmesan."

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

'I think that our next door neighbor might have lived here.'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

'Do you realize he barked all last night?'

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

"Do you think those clams we ate were a little off?"

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

'You got much on at the moment?'; 'No, nothing really.' (Naked man)

'Great! Thanks to the damn mortage crisis, we've got to live in a neighbourhood now where we wake up with yellow feet every second morning...'

'You can come back in, King Kong. The superintendent got the door open.'

'He's training for a career in law.'

'Not faster than sound, Pete, think of the neighbors!'

"Regular, grande, or lemon latte?"

"May I recommend the pumpkin seeds to starts?"

Cook complaining to milkman

"Well, Charles, it wasn't a 'pesky little wasp,' it was a hummingbird."

"The best way of dispersing crowds in the inner city is to start handing out job applications!"

'This is the last time I'm walking the dog! Our neighbor told me if spot poops on his lawn again, he's going to rub MY nose in it!'