Negotiations Gifts

"One he gets them in a bear-hug, it's usually a done deal."

"Something about this proposed merger with Wickery Basket Company makes me nervous."

"There. Now it's all on paper. Feel better?"

"My fees are quite high, and yet you say you have little money. I think I'm seeing a conflict of interest here."

'Now's a good time to get a feel for your negotiating skills.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

'Sure, a handshake is good enough for me, Hanson, if you don't mind my lawyer looking it over?'

'Make it seven beans and you got yourself a deal.'

'What split would you settle for, fifty fifty?' - 'As long as I get the hyphen as well.'

"Can you believe those guys? We tell them absolutely, positively no further negotiations, and they stop negotiating!"

"We can agree on some of these proposals, but we draw the line when it comes to term limits for members of management."

Brexit dilema

'No thanks, I don't drink when I'm driving home a point about investing.'

"He'll see you now, but I should warn you � he secretly despises you."

" 'Take over' is such a harsh term. We prefer corporate make over.' "

Secretary to lawyer: 'Ad per the head-on collision settlement, the insurance company is playing chicken.'

A Business Deal: Not everyone is pleased!

"If you drop three points on the prime and halve the base rate to 15% and then I throw in the wife and kids, we might just have ourselves a deal."

'The union told me what we could do with our contract proposal.'

"You're a shark! You're a killer! Nothing can stop you! Now get back in that boardroom and apologize."

'If you wish to retain my rock star client's talents you're going to need to pay a rock star price.'

'We're in trouble. I've negotiated with a poker face, but never with an encrypted face!'

'So to sum up this lengthy discussion: at the next meeting we'd prefer one platter of Brie and grape, one of honey glazed ham, and one of roast beef with wild horseradish - and NO cheese and pickle.'

Businessman's schedule full of confrontations.

Boy sits at father's desk at work and says on phone: 'OK, I'll have my boys call your boys ..'

"Look if I sell you my own mother it is because you need her!"

Brexit Strategy

Backstabbing businessmen.

'The negotiations would go quicker if you'd stop flicking lit matches at me.'

'Since everything's off the table, I guess we might as well go home.'

'Looks like a business deal gone bad.'

Wordplay: Mediator.

"Wow...That was one hell of an unfriendly takeover!"

Bridging the Gap

"Give it all you got is the motto of my wife's divorce attorney."