Negotiation Novice Mugs

Negotiating Skills for Beginners.

"It's a pretty standard contract - just sign here below, ' ... and hung by the neck until dead.'"

'The position carries no salary but does provide for full medical and dental coverage, with three weeks vacation.'

"Do you ever have days when you can't seem to rise above petty politics?"

Absolutely No Credit

"What part of 'keep it bipartisan' didn’t you understand?"

He agreed to everything we asked for. That means we didn't ask for enough.

'No, I'm not interested in hearing a counter proposal.'

'Sorry, J.B., but I never merge after a first meeting.'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

Kerry's New Job: Be careful what you wish for...

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

"Tariffs love me...tariffs love me not..."

"Can I savor this for a few moments? The ball's never been in my court before!"

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"Well, it looks like the merger is off."

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

"What if he's bluffing? What if he's not? What if the room just gets too hot?"