Negotiation Navigators T-Shirts

'Hey... lets calm down. I think we are all just trying to say the same thing.'

'Are you the client, or am I?'

"It's agreed then. By way of compromise we'll kick this into the short grass."

"You make minimum wage because you do minimum work!"

"And need I remind you, the 'art of the deal' is the lifeblood of this company."

Brian wanted to call the presentation "Synergy". Paula wanted to call it "Cooperation". They could never agree.

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

UK/US Free Trade Deal

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"Hey, the neighbors just installed a new wifi router."

"Then we have an unspoken agreement?"

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

"That's Paul, he's our head of partnerships..."

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'We're making progress. I just got a firm 'maybe'.'

'Try and be negative in a positive way.'

'I ace 'wheeling' but I flunked 'dealing'' - Boy on leaving Business Administration.

'Ok, here's the meeting agenda ... it's gonna be a long one.'

'Gentlemen, I've been authorized to sweeten the offer.'

'Negotiations have reached an impasse, legal recommends we resort to violence.'

Changing Minds

'As my solicitor I think you could have negotiated that better.'

'How did the 'I want you all to take a pay cut or leave' strategy go down?'

'To close the deal, I had to make some minor concessions.'

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

A Quiet Rebuke.

"That's Hicks from the corporate office. He's adorable, but trust me—when it comes to acquisitions, he's an animal!"

'Face it, we're never going to reach a consensus.'

'Could we finish these negotiations via e-mail? That will allow me to think before I respond to your proposals.'

"It's not just him. The whole system's down."

'I'm part of the decision-making process... I'm the 'No' part.'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."