Navigating Housing Market Mugs

"You can't live in our basement. Your brother beat you to it."

"My parents said I could move back into my old room, but they forgot to mention they sold the house 7 years ago."

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Building Site - Life Jackets must be worn.

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'I remember when all this was fields.'

Estate Agent showing client his parents' house - '...and here's one from our affordable homes range'

'The owner plays in the NBA.'

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

"Try not to think of it as a box, but rather as an environmentally neutral, biodegradable, single person unit of accommodation!"

Real Estate Personals

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

An exaggeration of estate agents

"When we said we'd build 'affordable' homes we had a particular buyer in mind."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

'The Dow has shot up 2.5% on positive data on housing - until five minutes from now, when it'll be interpreted differently.'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

Home Foreclosed Home.

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

'It's all about location, location, location!'

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

House hunting is cruel.

Those who fail to learn from the past will be forced to relive it.

Turtle Home

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

Dog Realtor

'Looks like you're underwater on your mortgage.'

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

'It seems good, and he said the bit at the bottom is the name of the architect.'