Nature Mirth Seeker T-Shirts

"There, but for the grace of Cod..."

Chase me, chase me cows.

"Existentialist Trail. Get lost then found. Nietzsche Park System"

While old, sick, and weak animals remained targets, the lions most enjoyed culling the herd of its sarcastic teenagers.

Santa does a keg stand.

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

Entering Megalopolis - next Bucolic area 162 miles.

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

"When Butcher Bob gets back from lunch this one is getting a vasectomy."

'It's restless leg syndrome, I just know it.'

'The doctor will be right with you shortly, he's finishing medical school.'

"At least you don't have a needy husband and an angry dog."

Fisherman pulling out hook with sign on it saying 'Gone Swimmin'.

"It seemed bigger in the brochure."

'If a bear attacks and I have to play dead I want it to be as convincing as possible!'

Not-Quite-Quick-Enough Sand

"I told you to stop biting your nails."

"I'm going to New Zealand for a walk."

"Let me guess...you forgot to put their hand-brakes on!"

'Joke emporium' 'Next prankster'

'And you dolls are the only friends I need to keep me... hey, where are you going?'

"Hi! My name is Dr. Jenkins and welcome to 'This is your disease'."

Golf cart in the hospital.

Santa Claus Heralding the New Year

Tourist is told to go home by a monument

Innie Outie

Just as Lyle was about to give up on ever seeing a whale off the east coast, a strange and miraculous thing happened.

This way to Utopia. . . No cell or wifi reception here.

The velcro ties were in place. The lobstermen would have no idea what hit them.'

"I'm going to go out and make my mindful connection to nature while we still have time."

Coiled snake.'Act calm,relax,take a deep breath and reach for your knife slowly.'

SEE SANTA, ''Happy Holidays'? -- Don't tell me YOU'RE getting politically correct, now?'

"I wasn't getting any work done at home, so I thought I'd try somewhere hot, bright and uncomfortable."

'I keep getting stomach cramps after eating.' - 'You're probably intolerant to certain foods.' - 'Can you test for that?' - 'Yes, just eat things one by one and see what makes you ill.' - 'Won't that be slow and painful?' - 'Fingers crossed.'