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Natural Medicines

"What's the big deal? All these politicians talk about a health care plan! I have a health care plan!"

"Have you spoken to an herbalist?"

"Fountain of youth? No, I'm searching for a cure for natural causes."

'Milton had an interesting side-effect from taking St John's wort.'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Self help acupuncture

'Don't feel bad — all tree huggers get a splinter now and then.'

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

Super-Tia makes Mal de Ojo undo its curse!

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'You've got, like, a Feng Shui problem with your pancreas, dude.'

New Age Store.

"You won’t find a more effective antidepressant."

Traditional vs alternative medicine.

Doctor receiving advice from patient's mother

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"This tea isn't helping – I'm taking a gummy."

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

"Looks like your Yang is on the move again."

Admit it Doc. You're jealous because my home remedy worked better than your fancy prescription!

"Honey, why don’t you tell Tony and Karen about your microdosing-healing-group thingy or whatever the heck it is?"

If all else falls...Mom's Chicken Soup

'Interesting presentation Bradley, except you were supposed to be discussing the nature of the DOW.'

"I thought I'd give Western medicine one more chance."

'We can try to fit it with an artificial limb.'

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

"I'm sensing a nostalgia for when your mother rubbed butter on them."

Shaman reads magazine entitled 'Witch Doctor'.

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

Acupuncturist Society Cocktail Party - 'For heaven's sake, Brian, it's only a pineapple chunk!'

'2 chocolate truffles in the morning and 2 chocolate truffles in the evening should cure your broken heart.'

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

'He's the star of a new medical series.'