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Alternative Accountants

'First you forget logarithms. Then you forget how to do long division. Then the multiplication table begins to go...'

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Asking out a palm reader.

"And now, a little theorem for all you lovers out there."

'The path to becoming an astronaut is rougher than I thought.'

'This is embarrassing. By MY calculations, the universe should have collapsed in on itself last Wednesday.'

Trilby - 'A voice he didn't understand'.

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

'Brilliant, Prof.Brainstorm. Any fool can come up with a new product, you've come up with a new tax break.'

"Have you been working out?"

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

"Well, I'm studying mathematics and I'm sure that's tougher than math."

"Maths is easy because it's so logical. 2 + 2 obviously equals 22."

'Eureka! After months of research and formulating algorithms, I've done it... I've discovered the secret to 'being cool'!'

The Forever Stamp

'I'm sorry, Madam Zola. I'm afraid you no longer have second sight.'

Professor of Fuzzy Logic.

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

'My mother says I have a vivid imagination.'

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

'Gifted class, indeed. One is gifted in science, but he can't read - one is gifted in reading, but won't even try math...'

'Let's see if we could put a spin on it and get the public interested.'

"11th Grade Math for Nincompoops"

'Everyone's using your theorem, Pythagoras. I told you you should have patented it.'

Product Formula - "He's brilliant. But his mind wanders."

'What it all means is, ker-booom!'

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

A2+B2=C2, 'Are you sure you're not just making this stuff up?'

"That? Oh, it's last year's calendar."

"Music helps with maths... like which song got to number one... which song got to number two..."

'Johannes Kepler's uphill batle'