Multiverse Maven T-Shirts

"Don't be frightened. I'm you, but I come from a perpendicular universe."

'A few more years in this job and you'll learn how to delegate stress.'

"Does anyone here have a clue what it is we used to get?"

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Corporate Team Building. Team. Hey, everybody, I've just been told our CEO fled the country while we've been doing our truth exercises.

"I don't have to be a team player, Crawford. I'm the team owner."

'I think it's time to rein in Henderson.'

"Just go with the workflow."

'What can I do to create a climate where things get done?'

"Someone, call the office and see if we can get a fresh carrot."

'Sorry to interrupt Dixon - but this is not what I meant when I said this company needed more blue-sky thinking!'

"First of all, let me commend everyone on the teamwork displayed on this icebreaker. Secondly, let me apologize for some of the motivational language I used during this session..."

Aftermath: Hostile Takeover,

Man carrying his boss.

"She bathes him. She feeds him. She burps him. Mother's a real micromanager."

"Despite years of management training john still found it difficult to give negative feedback."

The worker/the man who monitors the worker/the man who wrote the draft policy guidelines on how to monitor the man monitoring the worker.

'There's an absence of leadership in this authority,we need to explore the possibility of thinking about setting up a sub-committee to look into it.'

"Tell me more about your imposter syndrome."

"And here you see where we successfully concluded the merger to everyone's mutual benefit."

"It's nice, but does it have a batcave?"

"I have a personal blog, therefore I am!"

'Office of not much budget, and even less management! Yomp speaking!'

"What kind of crazy management scheme is this?"

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

Farmer's Market.

Jerk Gene

"May I remind you that my core worth as a human being remains constant, and isn't tied to external validation."

'Sorry...I don't deal with lease issues.'

'The only way to survive these days is to diversify.'

'My crystal ball is in the shop. Pick a fortune cookie.'

'How dare you accuse me of sinking this company?'

'With our marketing budget so limited our best chance is to make commercials that are SO bad that they'll go viral.'

'Hmm...this new management fad is crazy enough that it might just work...'

'Attention, all department heads: the buck stops there. I've had it!'