Mud Pit Navigation Specialist Pillows

"You say that using a colicky horse to pull you out of the mud may actually help his colic?"

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Man stood by signpost to 'here' or 'there'.

Man on Snowdon with GPS system - "I'd be lost without it."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"I scream! You scream! I can't stop the screaming!"

'My Pilot-Fish is on holidays, so I'm using a GPS System to find my way around...'

'Well if I'm so 'bloody useless' perhaps you'd better read the map!'

"Well what does the GPS say?"

'I think we took a wrong turn between the seventh and eight holes.'

Lost around a military base.

"There is a 5 month slow down. You are still on the fastest route. You will arrive next year."

'Typical man - why can't he just ask for directions?'

"Take your first left and then keep turning left until you eventually float to the top."

Recalculating!

"I told you, if you're looking for a road map for your life, that's all you're gonna get."

'And don't be afraid to ask for directions.'

Pole Star

"Wouldn't it be easier to have sat nav fitted?"

Extra Long-jump

"We seem to be going round in circles!"

GPS verses Map and Compass - Lost or Found?

'Rats! The GPS-coordinates don't match any known oasis: it must be a mirage...'

"He's teaching me map skills, such as how to fold it."

'Well, dammit, I say he should stop and ask someone!'

"...and it comes with sat-nav, which as you can see the previous owner used all the time."

"If you got us lost ... I am so eating you first."

'Face it, you'd be lost without me!'

'I blame it on the GPS-System myself: Hardly anybody gets lost around here anymore...'

"Sorry we’re late, but apparently the journey of 1,000 miles begins with 'I know a shortcut around this traffic'."

"Let's stop and ask directions at Alpha Centauri, I said, but oh no, Mister clever stalks knows the way alright!"

'Because only men can believe than 1 inch equals a mile.'

You Are Here

"Next year I'm planting rice instead of potatoes"

2Recalculating..."