Movie Director T-Shirts

Tenafly International Film Festival

Producer, Director, Egomaniac Chairs.

Chairs read 'Director (movie)' and 'Director (sycophantic DVD extras)'.

"You can tell it's a period drama because they're not wearing ozone helmets."

If only I had noticed the cow in the teleporter, I'd be accepting the Nobel prize now!

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

'CHICK-FLICK' MALE LEAD CHARACTER ARC.

'300 people were killed or injured ensuring that no animals were harmed in any way whatsoever during the making of this film.'

"Look! I see an abbreviated version of Disney's Bambi."

Never ending story.

Jude Law.

'Not to worry. We're being bailed out by Paramount Pictures.'

'Funeral Director'

James Cameron

"OK, stop me if you've never heard this before!"

King Kong and The Gherkin

"A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..."

Cosa Nostradamus: "Listen, you mook. I predict if you don't pay the vig to the Don by tonight you'll be at the bottom of the Hudson by morning."

Mega Films Corp. Bigger than ever. It's about a team of old action heroes who struggle with their weight. It's called "The Expandables.!

The Last Jedi dvd is going to have fourteen deleted scenes! Horrible mistake. The confident creator releases his work to the world and says This is it. This is what I want to show you. He doesn't then show you all the stuff he might have put in the story. Did Prince release the deleted stanza from Little Red Corvette where he also compared her to a Ford Pinto? Wait ... Prince compared a sexy lady to a Ford Pinto? Who knows? That's my point. Aren't you glad you don't know what?

Megacorp Pictures Advertising Dept. We need a catchy phrase to promote this new earthquake movie. "Look out for that runaway terrain."

Mega Cosmic Films. It's about a squad of ninja nuns? Yes, we call it "Force of Habit"!

Animation Film Festival. Great, now I have a toon stuck in my head.

"We did the sequel, we did the prequel. There's only one option left: zombies."

Portrait of Alfred Hitchcock

"Frankly, your script sucks!"

"Looks like a pretty quiet night out there, huh, girl?"

"For your enjoyment: Please turn off electronic devices, close your eyes, and cover your ears."

"When the silver screen beckons, and it will, I want my own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame..."

"You had the power to leave all along - just click your heels three times, grab your coat, and sneak out without saying goodbye."

"I loved it. Especially Mia Farrow's apartment."

"Before you get comfortable, hon - Bette Davis is twins in this one."

"You know what I think, babe? Seven on the Richter scale."

"I would have made the gore sickening in a different way."

"Whatever happened on that other island, this is the way he likes it now."