Motorway Maverick T-Shirts

'Now do you believe me about every other driver on the road.'

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Cellphone Islands

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

'First of all, relax.'

'Clem,the doctor told you to get away and relax.'

"I can see you're a ski newbie."

Motorcycles tied to hitching post outside a western saloon

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

Ski kicker.

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

'Sue's troubles with the law began the day she bought that first motorbike.'

'And I say he makes us look bad when he rides around listening to those books.'

Biker chopper shopper

The successful rubbernecker...

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

"I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology."

"You are hereby sentenced to one year of swimming with the people."

'There was an extra 50 miles on my bike this week. I couldn't keep you off the couch, now this?'

Absurd motorbike

"Would our big tacky objects look good here?"

'I wanted a little more speed. I just hope I'm not violating any laws by using a jet engine.'

"Hells Angels, Zamboni Division"

"I'm sorry, Uncle Ed. I just couldn't save the poor ol' thing. You want to shoot it, or shall I?"

Former CEO - Now King of the Highway.

"I owe it all to my pacemaker."

'Goopta took early retirement.'

'Andrew loves taking things apart and putting them back together...except he can never actually put them back together...'

'I see you decided to build your own motorcycle. By the way, did you, by any chance, fail shop class in school?'

'When you grounded me to my room, you said no TV or computer. You never said I couldn't build my own bike.'

No, I don't have roaming service, I am the roaming service.

"First you forget the flag! Now you tell me you don't know how to yodel!"

A man working on a model airplane

Expectations vs. Bitterness

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'