Motivation Mocker Pillows

'Motivational poster,'

"I suppose you want the rest of the day off!"

Desk plaque: 'P. Burnside, Upper-Echelon Nincompoop'

'I've collected my memos into one reasonably priced gift book.'

"Less hair doesn't mean less work!"

The Nihilist Deli.

"Excuse me, Mr Newton, but some of the employees think that your promotion has gone to your head."

"The beatings will continue until the morale improves!"

'Every man has his price, Peterson. I've decided yours is £2.75.'

'Are you sure it's non-drowsy? I cannot afford to oversleep...'

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

Mismanagement Consultant.

'Please excuse my nurse -- this is her first day on the job.'

"Well, I guess that old saying really is true: the squeaky wheel gets the grease!"

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

Earplugs £2 a Pair

"I like your paperweight, Watkins..."

'Please, sir -- I appeal to your common humanity!'

'Of course we're making a lot of mistakes - this is a dummy corporation.'

"I didn't mind the moustache, Cosgrove, But we definitely have a 'No mustachio' policy."

Fishermen catch a fish paint a 'No Fishing' sign.

"Just you wait until this firing freeze is over!"

Memo to all departments: NO!

"My wife says I bore people to death."

Members only.

"So help me, Henderson, if you sing 'Row Row Row Your Boat' one more time..."

'The cross doesn't affect him. Let's try with a Star of David.'

"Whatever you do in there all day is fine with me, so long as it's not writing a memoir."

'The reality is, if you should go on one of those shows, I doubt that TV viewers would accept you any better than I do!'

'Leave me the figures on my voicemail... I never check it.'

Yoga Trash Talk

Zoo keeper throwing food to himself.

'You can't fire me. I fired you.'

"Down here every day is Monday."

Hague Convention Defied! Repelling an Assault of Flu Germs