Motivated Molar Maverick T-Shirts

Boy who has been to the dentist

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

'First of all, relax.'

'I'm not motivated by profit, Henderson - I'm motivated by excessive profit.'

'I love the mountains and all, but I simply can't do this....I'm just too chicken.'

Gene Therapy

"It's somehow comforting to witness a revival of the classics in motivational technique."

"I can see you're a ski newbie."

Ski kicker.

"We supply the exercise and nutrition program, but it's up to you to supply the narcissism."

I cannot tell you why men will not ask for directions

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"I owe it all to my pacemaker."

'Goopta took early retirement.'

They just found two more dark moons around Uranus. Are you winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke? No, they really do think they found two new moons there. Kind of suspicious, if you ask me. As long as I can remember, Uranus had 27 moons, and the Solar System had 9 planets, including Pluto. Now those numbers change all the time. Next thing you know, they'll be telling us we have to Uranuses. Yeah ... pretty sure you're winding up to some sort of sophomoric joke.

A misery of mole hills

"First you forget the flag! Now you tell me you don't know how to yodel!"

Back to Work

'Sorry I'm late. I had you booked as the gastroenteritis, on Mont Blanc.'

'This is no time to decide that you'd rather be doing something else!'

'He's not hurt. He's just really, really cold.'

Expectations vs. Bitterness

Conformity

"Do we still have a copy of the pep talk I gave on that day?"

'Ever since this 'evolution' thing started, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching.'

Pentagon Science Contest: 'I get that a lot...must be from being in the presence of raw genius.'

Don't sweat the small stuff

'Okay, so we're 4 and 8 this season. Take away those 8 losses and we're undefeated!'

'It's a hell of a climb but it's worth it!'

Acme Instant Muscle Ade Machine

Diogenes: 'I found an honest man once, and he reported me for vagrancy.'

Putin and Xi Jinping on the moon

"The world needs revolutionaries...people who challenge the system, who question authority, who aren't afraid to say, 'I won't take anymore!'"

"I'm going to get my old dog, get an old pickup, a double-barrelled shotgun, get my old pink cotton print dress, and get back on Route 66!"

'Dave dropped out. He had chest pains and trouble breathing. They think he may have competitive heart failure.'